The next right thing

I met with someone on this distribution list yesterday and we both marveled at the power of letting go, accepting, and not resisting. In the conversation, she said the other thing that has been so powerful for her is 'doing the next right thing.' I think Buddha talks about 'right speech' and 'right talk'. Both, I understand to mean that we have a responsibility to ourselves and others to act right and to do the right thing.

The notion of forgiveness keeps coming up for me when I think of the 'next right thing'. I understand forgiveness to be putting an end to unfinished business. In a way, it too is letting go. Letting go of resentment, hurt, and pride. It expects nothing in return. And it allows hurt to be replaced with kindness; pride to be replaced with love.

I understand desire to lead to frustration to lead to anger to lead to resentment. Letting go breaks the chain.

So how to forgive? I think it is like going to the track for a run. You don't show up the first day and run 10 miles.... well I don't anyway. You start small and run a short distance and you gradually build it up. So too with forgiveness. You forgive (yourself and others) for small hurts and gradually work up to the bigger and more important ones. Both are accomplished with lots of practice.

I understand too, that you forgive the person, not the action. Lying and deceit hurt others. I don't intend to forgive the action, I want forgive the person.

So how do I do this? I've been practicing a meditation in which I open my heart and bring the person, sometimes myself and sometimes another, into my heart and say, "I forgive you. I forgive you for whatever you have done to hurt me in the past. It may have been caused by your mistrust, your anger, your fear. I forgive you. I hold no resentment toward you.' And I just let all anger stuff go and bring in warm love, mercy and kindness.

Then, I imagine someone I've hurt and bring them into my heart and and I ask for mercy, forgiveness and kindness. I try to pay attention to the blocks to my own heart and try to open it up and be brave and fearless in accepting their mercy.

Clearly all of this takes time and practice. But I believe it works. Having a heart filled with mercy, love, and kindness is so much better than having one filled with anger and resentment.

So I keep practicing and hope that someday I'll understand it all. Kind of like tasting wine. Someday I'll recognize the smell of apple blossoms in a fine Cabernet, until then I'll keep faking it.

Thanks for reading.